Look for new ways to love your spouse

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Charles Ighele

God Himself brought marriage into existence for enjoyable companionship/friendship among other things. However, most marriages are only surviving, while some are at the verge of dissolution. Others have even died (divorced) because the man and the woman were only enduring each other instead of enjoying each other. I have found out that some of the break ups we hear of all over the places are as a result of lack of spark and enough intimacy between the man and the woman. After marriage, the man talks to his wife anyhow, while the woman talks to her husband anyhow also. They even speak to each other like “an enemy” they shout at each other. Husbands and wives need to review the way and manner they address one another. The problem with most couples is that after one or two years into their marriage, they unconsciously forget the things that brought emotional and romantic spark to their union.

The things that were making the man get excited about the lady that used to make him restless until he sees the lady. The lady also forgets the things that made her to be excited seeing her man during the years they were courting. Couples should learn to bring back the memories that brought joy and happiness to them while they were dating.

Marriages begin to experience problems when both the man and woman start developing new attitudes in their relationship; an attitude that does not consider the other person’s feelings. Some partners have become so familiar with their spouses that they treat them with disdain and contempt. I deliberately look for new ways of thrilling my wife Carol from time to time. When I notice that the fire in our love life is coming down or stagnant, I try to look for new things to do, new things to say, new romantic styles to put fire into our love life. I hate to be stagnant or to move backward in my life. I want progress. This principle is what I also apply to my love life with my wife. I don’t want it to be stagnant. Our love life has to grow. The laughter has to increase. I have to deliberately invest on her to make her happy and she also does the same to me. We have a good caterer in our house but we try to eat out once a week or sit by the swimming pool and be chatting. If you were the type who used to write love letters to each other during your dating days and that kept you and your spouse bonded more who says you cannot continue with that? Go ahead and write those letters. Don’t say you are now married. After marriage is when you should even continue with those things that kept you and your spouse head over hills in love. This is not a difficult task. All you need is to determine in your heart to do it irrespective of your age.

As a woman, think of the things that used to thrill you about your husband while you were still courting. The man should also look for things that thrill him about his wife. Don’t allow negative thoughts about your spouse over shadow you. Remember that the devil does not want you to enjoy your marriage. What I am trying to say is that, you should bring back those things that were a source of spark and romance during your courtship days into your marriage.

For further counseling, call: 09098845521,07066579379 and 08065415059
Email: lovearena@holyspiritmission.org